Signs That You Are Ready For A Serious Relationship

When will I settle down? That’s probably the most difficult question we all have to answer at
some certain moments in our life. That’s a difficult question to answer because the answer to
that will always be relative to how and what you are as a person vis-a-vis other people around
you.

We cannot give you a specific age, or range of ages to tell you that at this certain age range,
you’ll be ready for love. But we can give signs — signs that most of us you have settled down
already have undergone or experienced. So, listen (or read rather) carefully and search deep
inside. Ask yourself if you can, somehow, relate to these signs.

Here are some signs that you might be about ready for something more serious and long term.

You know a relationship does not complete you.

Although this is a common misconception about completeness and happiness, the truth is that
no one will ever be completely happy in a relationship without being completely happy with
themselves. This goes for everything in life, including jobs, finances, family, and friends. If you
are not inherently happy no amount of money in the world can change that.

If you’re already happy however, adding on anything else great to the equation can only
increase your happiness levels even more. Happiness is an inside job. Your partner is not a
bandaid to fill and heal a missing dermis. Filling in a hole by looking for a partner won’t fill it
completely. It’s on you. It’s your job. It’s an inside job.

You understand the importance of holistic communication.

Good communication choices is a mark of maturity — the hallmark of sounder judgement and
decent wisdom. This includes listening and responding to other people as well as listening and
expressing what you’re feeling inside. It means speaking up when you need to be heard,
embracing criticism, honoring other people’s opinions, operating from a place of respect, and
choosing your battles wisely.

People who not ready for long term relationships might tend to put their own thoughts ahead of
everyone else’s no matter the consequences, cop attitudes for no reason but to assert their position of power, make it difficult for a partner to express themselves to them, or ignore them completely.

You know you’re ready for a real long term relationship when you understand the importance of
communication and are willing to make some changes in how you do it to fit someone else
happily into your emotional and physical space.

You are not hung up on anyone else.

There’s a difference between having an ex that will always mean something to you and being
totally hung up on someone. But to fully embrace a new relationship it’s helpful not to have one
foot in another one.

Letting go of past relationships is crucial not just to be fully available to someone new, but to
allow the space for reflection and healing from any past hurts we went through in those past
relationships. If you don’t learn what went wrong, how to do it differently, and then forgive
yourself for any of your faults, you’re just going to keep repeating the same mistakes.

We all make them, and often, but when you can take responsibility for the paths you’ve gone
down and realize what you might do differently in the future, that’s when you’re thinking like
someone who’s ready to give it another go.

You are okay with being alone.

People who aren’t ready for long term relationships but need to be with someone at all time
might find themselves jumping from relationship to relationship, even if they aren’t the ideal
situation. I know you know a lot of people who are like this. Apparently, you’ll even be surprised
about how fast they jump from one relationship to another, and you’ll lose count of how many
partners they’ve got!

That cycle can end by finding the right person to be with, but often it requires some downtime to
sort through some things and decide what we really want in a relationship.
You know you’re really ready for a long term relationship when you have taken some totally
single time for yourself and you’re completely comfortable and happy with who you are, whether
there is someone by your side or not.

You want to do and be good.

At our teenage days, we are relatively careless and carefree. But as we old, we’d want to be
better than we were. We want to build the better version of ourself. That is a good sign that you
are ready for a relationship, a serious one at that.

Why is wanting to be better a sign that you are ready to commit? For starters, the decision to be
better, or do better means you are comfortable taking responsibility and making compromises
with yourself. When you can make compromises and choices to do things better for yourself,
you’re often ready to do them for other people as well.

The ability to embrace the things the about yourself that you would like to change is also making
you more compassionate towards other people doing the same. You don’t expect a man or
woman to be perfect, but rather perfect for you.

You act according to your age.

Early adulthood is a confusing stage of our life, especially after college. The society expects you
to behave according to the behavior patterns set for your age, or your group. So, yeah, tough
stuff, eh?

At this stage of our life, admit it, we are not marriage material. Science confirms this: We will
experience genuine love when we are at our late 20s. So, chill. Don’t rush. You’ve got all the
time in the world to grow up and act to your age. And when it does, pretty sure, you are ready
for a serious relationship.

Your taste have changed.

When we were younger, we tend to date the “bad boys” or the “bitches”. Why? Well, aside from
they are usually hotter and cooler, they’re good at dating, and they’re fun to be with. However,
they usually fool around. The bad boys can be fun for dating, but when they’re in their bad boy
phase they generally aren’t ready to settle down.

You are ready for a really serious relationship if your taste is changing towards stability and are
more open to other groups of men or women. This is the time when the bad boy or the mean girl
simply won’t suffice.

You have given up.

The problem with this world is that we always imagine relationships as always blissful, or
fairytale-like. We keep on believing that somewhere out there, there’s our ideal partner waiting for us – a fair, pretty princess or a tall, dark and handsome prince (I have a friend who’d only date guys who are virgins; do they even exist?).

So, most often than not, these individuals with perfect ideals, tend to give up on their ideals and
believe they are a lost cause. Well, that’s a good thing. You are ready. You are ready for the
real thing. Not the imagined fairytale you want to live in. Opening up to real options, to reality, is
a huge step towards commencing a genuine and non-toxic relationship (yeah cause in your
quest to perfect your love story, you end up being a control-freak, or a moral nazi).

If you meet the opposite sex version of you, you will like them.

You call that “marrying up”. It’s about thinking of someone better than you are. Perhaps cuter,
richer, fancier, or hotter.

But here’s the thing: You are not ready for love until you have enough self-respect that if you
meet your exact self, yeah not cuter, not richer, not fancier than you are, and is in the opposite
sex (unless you are gay, you probably would not want to date your own version) you would want
him or her.

If you don’t like the mirror persona of you, then probably, you better work on your own version of
you. It’s a step towards, readiness. For if you don’t like or love yourself, who would life or love
you? Except your dog (debatable).

You are bored with perfection.

Ask anyone who has been in a love relationship for a while, nothing is perfect. In fact, lots of
married women I know are happily (or reasonably happily) mated to men lots of my single
girlfriends would reject on the first date. How interesting is that? Here's the upshot: if you're still
unscrolling a long list of Must Haves and Must Not Haves and measuring your real life dates
against it, you are not ready.

You are single, but you are not lonely.

Wonderful things happen when you least expect them. The same thing can be said to be true
about relationships. Someone will come into your life when you least expect it. So, chill.
Being alone is not necessarily being lonely. Loneliness stems from lack of appreciation of one’s
self. So, loneliness is always about how you love your life; not necessarily who you have in your
life. Your partner-to-be is just a cherry on top on whatever ice cream flavor your life represents.

If you havent have your knigh-in-shining-armor or princess-in-a-wagon yet, and you are scared
of being lonely, why not try doing something you are passionate about. Join a cause. Get a pet.
I don’t know, whatever suits you.

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